Grief Series: How Grief Impacts Children & Adolescents
Helping Young Minds Heal Through Loss
Grief is often seen as an experience reserved for adults, but children and adolescents also feel deep and complex emotions when faced with loss. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, a divorce, a move, or another life-altering event, grief can leave a lasting mark on a young person’s emotional and developmental journey.
As caregivers, educators, and mental health professionals, it’s important to recognize that grief doesn’t look the same in kids as it does in adults. Young people may not have the words to express what they’re feeling. Instead, their grief shows up in behavior, mood, and even physical symptoms. By understanding how grief affects children and teens, we can provide more effective support during some of the most difficult moments of their lives.
Emotional Symptoms of Grief in Young People
Children and teens experience many of the same emotional symptoms adults do—but often in ways that are harder to detect. They may feel:
Sadness and longing for the person or situation they lost. Kids may express this through crying, wanting to talk constantly about the person who died, or becoming emotionally withdrawn. They might ask repetitive questions about death or cling to reminders of what they've lost.
Confusion or difficulty making sense of what happened. Especially in younger children, there may be a limited understanding of the permanence of death. They may ask when the deceased is coming back or believe their actions caused the loss.
Guilt, especially if they believe they could have prevented the loss. Children are often self-centered in their thinking, developmentally speaking. They may assume the loss happened because of something they said or did, such as getting angry at the person who died.
Anger toward others or themselves. Teens especially may become irritable, lash out at caregivers, or blame themselves or others for the loss. Anger is often a protective layer over sadness or helplessness.
Fear that more losses will happen or that the world is no longer safe. Grief can shake a child’s sense of security. A child who loses a parent might suddenly fear losing the other, or a teen may develop anxiety about sudden tragedies or illness.
For adolescents, emotions can feel even more intense. They may experience mood swings, isolate themselves from family and friends, or express hopelessness. Sometimes, these symptoms can look like depression or anxiety, even if the root cause is grief.
Behavioral and Developmental Changes
Grief often shows up in behavior more than words—especially in children who don’t know how to talk about their feelings yet.
Regressing to earlier behaviors (bedwetting, separation anxiety). A child who was previously sleeping through the night may begin wetting the bed or needing to sleep with a caregiver. These behaviors signal distress and a need for comfort.
Expressing their emotions through play rather than words. Children often "play out" their grief using dolls, drawings, or storytelling. This symbolic expression may include themes of loss, danger, or reunion, and is a healthy outlet when supported.
Becoming clingy or fearful of being alone. Children may fear abandonment or become hyper-attuned to the whereabouts of their loved ones. They might follow parents around or refuse to attend school or activities.
Acting out or becoming defiant (common in teens). Adolescents might skip school, argue more, or push boundaries. This can be a form of control when everything else feels uncertain, or an attempt to express feelings they can't articulate.
Engaging in risk-taking behaviors. Teens who are grieving may turn to substances, unsafe sexual behavior, or other risky actions as a form of escape or rebellion. It’s a red flag that their emotional pain is overwhelming them.
Withdrawing socially or losing interest in school and activities. Grieving teens may isolate themselves, stop seeing friends, or quit hobbies they once loved. This is often mistaken for depression but may be a temporary response to deep loss.
Physical and Academic Effects
Grief doesn’t just affect emotions and behavior—it also takes a toll on the body and mind.
Changes in appetite or sleep patterns. Children may begin overeating or lose their appetite altogether. Sleep disturbances are also common—trouble falling asleep, nightmares, or waking throughout the night.
Frequent headaches or stomachaches. When kids don’t feel safe expressing their emotions, their bodies often do it for them. Chronic complaints with no medical cause may point to stress or unresolved grief.
Fatigue or lack of energy. Emotional overwhelm can lead to physical exhaustion. Kids may seem tired even after resting or lack the motivation to get through the day.
Trouble concentrating in school. Grief clouds attention and memory. Children may forget assignments, struggle to follow lessons, or zone out in class, not because they’re lazy, but because their brains are overwhelmed.
Falling grades or disengagement from learning. When children or teens stop trying in school, it may be their way of signaling emotional distress. Teachers are often among the first to notice a student isn't quite themselves.
The Importance of Grief Support
Grieving youth need more than time—they need space, safety, and validation. Left unsupported, unresolved grief in childhood can lead to long-term mental health struggles.
Suppressing emotions can cause harm over time. If kids are told to “be strong” or discouraged from talking about their feelings, those emotions may become internalized. Over time, this can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-worth, or even trauma symptoms.
Grief therapy provides a safe place to process emotions. Therapy gives children and teens a nonjudgmental space to share their feelings in a way that’s appropriate for their age. With the help of a skilled clinician, they can understand what they’re experiencing and begin to heal.
Developmentally appropriate interventions make a difference. Play therapy, art therapy, narrative therapy, and even nature-based practices can help children express grief without needing to verbalize complex emotions they might not fully understand.
Peer support reduces isolation. Grief groups for children and teens help normalize their experiences. Hearing “me too” from someone their own age can be incredibly validating and healing.
How Caregivers and Adults Can Help
The adults around a grieving child are critical to their healing. Here’s how you can make a difference:
Keep communication open, even if your child isn’t ready to talk. Let them know you're there, and that no emotion is off limits. You don’t have to force conversations—just create opportunities for them to happen naturally.
Model healthy grieving by showing your own emotions appropriately. Children learn by watching. When adults show sadness in safe and manageable ways, it gives kids permission to feel their own feelings, too.
Maintain routines to provide structure and stability. Predictability is grounding. While some flexibility is important, keeping regular mealtimes, bedtimes, and school routines helps kids feel safe.
Avoid euphemisms (like “gone to sleep”) which can confuse younger children. Being honest in age-appropriate ways is key. Saying someone “died” and explaining what that means in simple language helps reduce confusion and fear.
Seek professional help if symptoms persist or interfere with daily life. If your child’s grief seems stuck or if it begins to affect their ability to function at home, school, or socially, a therapist can provide tools and support to help them move forward.
How Concierge Grief Counseling with Dynamic Minds Counseling Can Help
At Dynamic Minds Counseling, we understand that children and adolescents need specialized support to process grief in ways that are developmentally appropriate, safe, and empowering. Our concierge model of care means your child or teen receives personalized, high-quality mental health support—without the limitations or delays often found in traditional systems.
Our therapists are specifically trained in child and adolescent mental health, with advanced experience in working with young clients who are grieving. We use evidence-based, creative approaches like play therapy techniques, expressive art techniques, narrative therapy, and family support to help young people explore their emotions, build resilience, and feel understood.
With concierge care, we bring therapy to you — virtual therapy and coordinating with schools and caregivers to ensure continuity and comfort. No long waitlists. No red tape. Just expert, compassionate care delivered in a way that works for your family.
Your Child’s Healing Matters
Grief doesn’t go away when it’s ignored—it simply waits. Let’s give your child or teen the space and support they need to heal in a healthy, supported way. If you're ready to explore grief counseling for your child or adolescent, we’re here to help.
Contact us at Dynamic Minds Counseling to schedule a consultation or learn more about our concierge mental health services.
What’s Coming Next on the Blog
In the coming weeks, we will explore:
Anticipatory Grief – further understanding grief that begins before a loss.
Disenfranchised Grief - further understanding grief that everyone else seems to dismiss.
Living Losses – grief that comes from life changes such as divorce, breakups, and many others.